I have a lot of ideas.
And they’re good ones too.
We’re talking like podcast pitches, writing ideas, my notes app probably even has a potential project or two that could turn into a screenplay. And I can’t wait to share it all! No really. And I think I might…tomorrow. Every one of my ideas.
I think I’ll start writing it. Tomorrow.
I think I’ll work on reporting that piece. Tomorrow.
I think I’ll book that pitch meeting. Tomorrow.
Tomorrow is SUCH a perfect day! Because it never goes away. Like if I say I’ll do something Friday—well, first I have to actually pick a Friday.
This Friday.
Next Friday.
Friday after next.
Friday the 13th.
(When did this turn into a list of movies?)
So Friday is way too concrete. When you start to be so specific, Fridays come and go, so there’s actually a chance to fail, to miss that Friday, to not reach that goal.
But tomorrow. Ugh…chef’s kiss…tomorrow is glorious. You never miss it. You only move it. Have you EVER missed a tomorrow? Of course not. You can’t; you miss this tomorrow and another will just come around. Which makes it the perfect time to set goals.
It’s perfect. It’s also insidious…Because it actually sounds concrete.
When should we have that meeting? Tomorrow.
Let’s plan to grab coffee. Tomorrow.
I need to pick up my dry cleaning.
Tomorrow.
Tomorrow can sound so real. So serious.
But it can also be a vortex. It will pull us unwittingly into it’s trap.
”Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow, creeps in this petty pace from day to day.”
In the wrong hands (read: mine), tomorrow is self-sabotage. It’s an excuse dressed in a business suit.
So I figured I’d post this today.
I used to write a lot creatively, but I stopped. Partly because I didn’t think it was “going anywhere” and partly because I lost the will to create.
Now that first reason, is bullshit. It’s creative…it doesn’t HAVE to go anywhere. There’s so much pressure to go viral, or be noticed, or achieve, and I get caught in this often. Does that ever happen to you? You start to sound like a Succession character when you draft a tweet, stopping to ask yourself “how does this play?” Or “how does this advance my personal position?” Maybe I’m alone in that, or maybe you curate your persona or online presence some other way.
And then there’s that second reason: I lost the will to create. Part of curating my persona has been this desire to appear like I have it all together. (This is laughable.) Breaking news: I struggle. I have hard times, I freak out, have a lot of fear. I have massive insecurities. I get hopeless, and sometimes, I lose the will to create. I…just want to be honest.
One of the things that helps me to regain that will (or so I tell myself) is perfection. My work is mot perfect, but I tell myself I can create perfect conditions (I misspelled ‘not’ as ‘mot’ in my first draft, which given the sentence I thought was hilarious, so it stayed). “If I can create the perfect conditions,” I tell myself, “I can create something I am proud of.” Wait to start writing until the first of the month, or better yer the new year. Wait until you have all the answers to talk to that person. Wait until your idea is perfect before you try to pitch it.
All of those are just ways of saying…
Tomorrow.
Maybe you stopped reading after the “Friday” joke.
Or maybe you stuck around.
Maybe I’ll get bored of whatever this project is.
Or maybe I’ll be inspired.
Maybe this will be the first and last of these.
Or maybe I’ll post again
Tomorrow.